Questions to Ask Yourself About Your Child’s Concerning Behavior

As a parent, it’s natural to worry when you notice a behavior in your child that doesn’t seem quite right. Whether it’s a sudden change in their conduct or a persistent habit that’s affecting their daily life, understanding the underlying issues is crucial to providing the right support. Here are some essential questions you can ask yourself to better understand and address your child’s concerning behavior.

Behavioral Issues:

1. Implement a Routine: Establish a consistent daily routine at home. Children are generally more cooperative and independent when they can anticipate the events of their day.
2. Set Clear Expectations: Always explain and establish age-appropriate expectations before engaging in activities or going on outings.
3. Clarify Consequences: Ensure your child understands the positive outcomes of listening and the consequences of not following the rules.
4. Consistently Enforce Rules: Consistently enforce established rules and expectations to maintain structure.
5. Discourage Immature Behavior: Do not accept whining, disruptive, or destructive behavior as common ways of expressing needs and feelings. Only respond to age-appropriate communication and actions

How can I address my child’s defiance or non-compliance?

Defiance and non-compliance often result from underdeveloped listening skills. Children may be given too many choices throughout the day, leading them to believe they can refuse tasks or always get what they want. Parents can encourage cooperative behavior by doing the following:

1. Listen Before Choices: Teach children to listen first to avoid conflicts. Make listening a priority in specific areas of their life.
2. Use Clear Instructions: Communicate using directional and instructional language. For example, instead of asking, “Are you tired or ready for bed?” say, “It’s time for bed. Turn off the TV, go potty, and get ready for your story.” The former makes bedtime sound optional, increasing the likelihood of conflict, while the latter is non-negotiable. How intense is the behavior, and what level of impact does it have on your child’s day-to-day life? Assessing this can help determine the urgency and types of interventions needed.
3. Follow Through: Follow through without excessive reminders so your child knows you mean what you say.